echo \$RANDOM

## Category: Ramblings

### Circles and Infinity

As we go outword from the inner circle, the gaps between the lines joining the centre to the circumference widens:

This essentially means that even though you can theoretically you can have an infinite number of lines on the inner circle, they are never enough to cover the outer circle(s). I was made to ponder on this fact while watching a BBC documentary titled “Dangerous Minds”.

Here is the MATLAB code (works in GNU Octave):

```clear all;close all

for r=1:10

lines=zeros(361,2);
cx=[];cy=[];

for theta=0:360
x=r*cos(theta);
y=r*sin(theta);

cx=[cx;x];
cy=[cy;y];
end

% plot the circle
plot(cx,cy,'r.'); hold on

% lines matrix
lines=[lines cx cy];

% plot the lines
for i=1:size(lines,1)
plot([lines(i,1) lines(i,3)],[lines(i,2) lines(i,4)],'b-');
hold on
end

end
```

And here is another thing for you to think about, also mentioned in the documentary: A circle can be thought of as having infinite points on its circumference. The bigger circle looks like having more points on the circumference, right?

Now consider these two circles are concentric: so for every point on the outer circle, a line joining it to the centre intersects the inner circle at a point.  So, is there really more points on the circumference of the bigger circle? Time to blame infinity.

### Taking Shakespeare Seriously

Faces are Us (Source: Clicked by your's truly)

“All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts”

So began Shakespeare’s Monologue in As You Like It. I think the human race has taken him a little too seriously and try really hard everyday to prove the relevance of Shakespeare in our daily lives. To express myself more accurately, I would rewrite these four lines as:

“All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely actors:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time puts on many masks”

Look back a little in your life – may be as little as even 12 months in your life and you will know what I mean. If you don’t, lucky you. I am keeping my fingers crossed. For, its the many faces of man and woman that can ruin you. You might befriend “friend”, but hey, “friend” is not actually what you think “friend” is. “friend” has an agenda, a reason to be with you – and no it isn’t because “friend” likes you or admires you. “friend” just wants to have some fun, at the cost of your faith, trust and emotions. Its funny how this “friend” reacts to situations in your life. Here are some instances:

• “friend” is a great friend to you when you are sad, lonely, perhaps you miss someone very important in your life, or you are in a mental turmoil for something. You think “friend” is a great friend, so you befriend “friend” and really make “friend” important in your life thinking that “friend” wants nothing but your good. Then you find some happiness in your life, and “friend” is NOT happy. “friend” doesn’t even express happiness.
• “friend” is your friend for many years. “friend” even goes to the extent of telling you to find your own happiness and go for it. You go and find it, but “friend” isn’t happy anymore for you. Another “friend”, another Face. Did “friend” not expect that you would actually go and get your happiness?
• You have loved “friend” dearly, (a lot like brotherly love, if you please) you do a lot for “friend”, buy her books, making sure “friend” gets all  that’s needed. You ask “friend” for something really small in return, and “friend” doesn’t feel that its necessary. “friend” doesn’t care anymore of your existence.
• …and it goes on

So, what is the problem with our “friend” here? Is “friend” jealous, angry, sad, disappointed with you? Or is “friend” just pretending to be something which actually “friend” is not. Or, is it just that you are wrong? That you couldn’t see what it was actually there. May be you are wrong, but from personal experience, you can’t be wrong all the times. You are being playing into the hands of a bunch of moral-less individuals who don’t even know what friendship, love or being human is. Being happy for someone else is a far cry from them. If you analyse “friend”, you will see that “friend” doesn’t even know what to make of this life- and hence try to be different at different points of time. They lack the appreciation for beauty – they lack the good will to come and pat your back and say – “Hey, good job! Keep it up.”, they lack the will power or force to chase their dreams, they don’t slog for their career or for their life. They don’t know how to be a friend or a lover.

Look around, do you see a “friend”? If yes, avoid “friend”.

And Dear “friend”, please put on a real mask, so that we know whether you are a batman or a spider-man. Enjoy your days in the sun because people like you are usually outlived, if not outnumbered.

PS: Excuse the liberal use of “friend”. It was intentional to highlight the farce that some people make friendship to be.

### Life and What we Make of it

I am currently in a big city where life and death is a never stopping affair just like the ringing cash register in a supermarket. I hear a number of ambulance sirens all throughout the day. Some of them will lead to the post life life and the others will bring back to the current life. Either way its a new life. Life as we know it is quite different for each of us humans. In our body there are a huge number of cells living and dying, regenerating, rejuvenating fighting every moment. Where as we as a single being live and die only once, not considering the concept of multiple births for the moment, the cells in our body lives and dies continuously. Moving on from biology to more philosophical territory, we have often heard of life changing experiences. A realisation of an eternal  truth for example can be called a life changing experience, post which the being leads his life diferently as if he or she has been reborn.

The concept of life is thus quite open to well, conceptualization. We give it a different meaning or rather it means different to us at different points of time. Its rather easy to wander around in life in the name of exploring, flexibility or being adventurous. And it is during this wandering stage of life that big mistakes are made. Life is normally a long period of time we are dealing with. And its all the more important to respect this fact and act with the fear of consequences in mind. Short sightedness and a closed room thought process results box like thinking. And that is when the big picture is missed. The term big picture may sound like a cliche term. But it actually is important to  see it. When we see the big picture, we tend to concentrate on our insignificance as a human and as a.species as compared to the vastness that surrounds us. And the day we realize our own insignificance and ignorance, we start growing sensible, we start acting with the big picture in mind. But the big question is how to not lose your way? how to not miss the big picture?

As individuals we tend to follow trajectory in our lives. There is a beginning and there is an end. We rise and we fall. During this rise and fall, its easy to forget where you started from. Its easy to forget your roots. Root could be just yourself, a person you love or trust most or it could be a set of principles you live by. Being rooted is important to stop wandering from. The concept of being rooted is similar to the concept of being anchored to something or someone which helps you from being lost in the open sea of life. In earlier times and probably even today, in a section of Indian society – marriage is seen as a way of making the bad son from going berserk. The responsibility of a wife is believed to be sobering down this son. May be it works. But again the principle is the same – being anchored or rooted is important.

Sometimes, you might have wandered so much that too much has been damaged – there is no point of return – or so you think. But its never too late to return to your roots, to your anchor and start fixing things. The struggle must go on. You must keep fighting. For it is in our mistakes that we learn never to commit them. There won’t be another life. So, don’t go to the GAP yet.

The show must go on.

### Outgrowing

I am human after all, or so I have been trying to be. Here goes a Humane rant,

Its funny how easy it is to find yourself aloof from what’s happening around you. The clutter of voices suddenly disappear into the surroundings, you feel like you own this world.  All you need is a noise cancelling pair of Bose. Al right, i am kidding.

Its a very personal experience i am writing about today. As days pass by, i am getting this sense of alienation. Family, acquaintances, peers – everyone seem so repelling. Its like our individual agenda are conflicting. And like she would say, there is no merging. Have you ever felt so disillusioned that you learn to ignore everything good or bad? Have you questioned yourself whether you have ever done a correct thing? Felt like a looser all the way down?

May be you actually are. May be not. I am still quite hopeful and hence i shall take the latter stand. In this world full of mediocrity its easy to get into conflicts with things which have been recognized by the mass as convention, rules and regulations. Its then you begin to question yourself: are you wrong or have you outgrown the mass? Are you the tall tree who have been enterprising enough to reach out?

Outgrowing has interesting repercussions aside from alienating you. It makes you a misfit of almost villainous proportions. You are made to look like a traitor to your roots. Outgrowing often makes you the object of a chaining project.

The key to maintain growth is to maintain the upward climb. The higher you grow, the farther you live mediocrity behind. Its not unknown that lion does not move in a herd. The lion possesses beastly physical powers. Most human beings don’t possess even a fraction of that physical strength cause we are not all flesh and bones. We are supposed to be thinking beings and its our thoughts which should empower us above the mass.

Now you might be wondering what is the definition of outgrowing that i am talking about. There is no particular definition i have in mind. Its a feeling, more of a realization of not belonging to your immediate community, surroundings and family.

This year has taught me in a very hard way what mediocrity can do. Shun people who make you feel mediocre. You are awesome.

May you outgrow all during the course of next years.

### A Speculative take on Four O’clock

Unlike a lot of previous nights, I woke up at 04.00, rather than already being awake en route to pulling an overnight gig in my favourite place. Having been fortunate to live in few parts of the world now, I was wondering what would life be like at 4 O’clock in different parts of the world?

Without stating a lot of hard facts or having any concrete reasons to believe so, I think — 4 O’clock is a transition point during the 24 hour ritual that we go through 365 days a year.

The end

Its a time when the lively among us would be crawling back to their dens after a drink too many, some of them drinking to glory, others to their doom, the aggressive among us might have had a more involved night – having a pub fight or something like that, the strong among us might have protected a lot of lives this night, the normal among us might just be finishing up another long night’s study or work. And we would crawl into bed beside our loved ones or with just ourselves. That’s just the beginning of the end, however. We shall then start pondering and thinking about a gamut of other things. Reminiscing the fond moments of the day, the fond people in our lives and saying our last prayers to prevent the demons from devouring us. And finally, we sleep.

The Beginning

The vegetable vendors in different parts of India would be making their journeys to buy their vegetables for the day which the great Indian consumer would go to buy in the morning. The local trains of Delhi, Kolkata and Mumbai have just started running and the vendors are just getting ready to sell steaming tea and breakfast. Office goers who have to commute 2+ hours daily might just be cursing their way out of the bed.  Pilots and Air hostesses will  just be getting ready for that early morning flight and so would be the passengers. Closer home, travellers would be waiting at the Jolimont centre in Canberra to take the early morning bus to Sydney.

In Transit

A lot of life would just be in transit at 04.00 AM – at the airports, bus and the train stations. More symbolically, life would be in transit in our minds when we are just plain awake,  like myself. Its not a beginning or end for me now. Its just a state in between. And it is during this state of transit that life comes back to me. I am too busy to think when I start, and too tired to think when I end, but it is during this state of transition that I have the right amount of peace inside me and just that enough time before I need to wake up or sleep. I like this state. I like to think. I think its good to think. And, I just pulled a meta there!

Favourite Four O’clock Moment

Till a few years back, I used to regularly take the overnight bus service between two towns of West Bengal, India – Kolkata and Siliguri. They used to be beautiful moon-lit nights. They become doubly wonderful when I was travelling with my Alter ego of 10+ years now.

What’s yours?